A few sketches that I doodled about a month or so ago on my ipad while on a work break and OF course, here are a few looks/outfits recently. I went back to red, but I kept my 2 extension wefts black and platinum blonde so I have a peakaboo calico look on my right side. Its mostly because I was protecting my tragus piercing and kept color application minimal on that side, but a happy accident.

Lesson planning for fall today with coffee and baking! Rainy gorgeous chilly day are the most productive for me. Im a recluse <3

A rare cloud appearance. Shes been so happy lately, playing in her pumpkin house and eating plenty of bananas

 

 3 new books are coming out in the Imagine and Daydream series, we're just about wrapping up. Here are some process shots of the some assets I sent over to my author! The last image is of Emi, whom one of the books is about. This was her design back in 2020 but we needed an update as all the other kids had updates for them.

The book is essentially about overcoming obstacles and bravery set to and from a playground. Emi has a few new friends to introduce, theyre designed below. Ive named them, although my Author may decide to change their names too.

 I visited Amvets this morning and I was NOT disappointed! The selection was huge and fantastic quality/brands. What im looking for is staple pieces, and curating these outfits has not only become massive joy in my life but a form of self expression and art. If I have a block, I turn to making new drip.

This really started when I wanted to curate my alt/dark academia wardrobe and the alt centric stores were charging 60-80 or more for one top or pair of pants. I had a cart of really only accessories, 2 dresses and a harness and it was about 400.00. I simply cant justify that and most alt forums advice was to just go thrifting. It wasnt until I started looking for staple pieces and investing in quality shoes with stronger silhouettes and accessories that it made sense.

I have a lot more outfits to showcase, but this is one of my favorites I put together. The skirt/top are both express, the black crop cami is thrifted but unsure brand and Its all layered over a mesh/lace sheer long sleeve top. I found a tutorial for making a hardware choker necklace by going to home depot, so Ill be doing that soon. This fit leans more dark academic and I think will look great for fall!

 

More thrifted finds today, more outfit combos. I also picked up an express black midi skirt and it goes GREAT with these boots and my docs but I havent taken photos. This dress was a lulus black multi tiered dress and I really vibed with the texture and neckline. I paired it with a lace mesh long sleeve shirt and then a black cropped sweater in the second photo. 

I think this is gonna look gorgeous come fall with a long black trench coat or a vintage black denim jacket. 

 Very thankful for so much. I have a lot, exactly what I need to keep on keepin on. Thanking god everyday for the things given to me but more importantly,  the things taken away. It's been nice coming into a quiet and peaceful home, sharing my morning with Kaori. 

I'm so close to wrapping up the imagine and daydream series. Would have never imagined I finished a series, became featured in imaginefx and art directed a pilot to show.

I have a few more outfits from this new aesthetic exploration, and a new piercing; my tragus. I've wanted this thing forever,  and Trevor was amazing. The appointment was very quick and he talked me into getting the daith at the next visit !

The skirt needs to be ironed or steamed, it's been in storage for 2 years. I would prefer a darker color but the purpose is to use what I have on my closet. Adding a lace long sleeve shirt underneath is absolutely goated.  I did it with 2 boxy oversize sweatshirts too with docs and my shorter skirt , but I don't have pictures of those outfits yet. 

 Im probably going to revise this post later on tonight. Ive ordered a few things to get my black chucks wearable and  my pins to get the graphic cut outs onto the oversized Tshirt. Im going to style that with a black harness and metal necklace with either the chucks or my docs when they get here.

Anywho, this is how I styled my pink chucks today for my piercing appointment. I scheduled a tragus piercing, Ive ALWAYS wanted one and it looks amazing. On a scale of 1-10, Id probably put it at a 2-3. A bit more pinchy then expected but really not bad at all. Would def get the other one done

I wanted to find a pink graphic shirt to go with the chucks, but I picked out one of the band tees I was given at my friends funeral from her husband. They're big Ghost fans and he unloaded a ton of Ghost shirts on me and I love wearing them. I then chose a pair of my thrifted jeans, white tube socks and a chain belt. I have a sword earring in on my left ear, and studs on my right.

The cutouts from the bloody disgusting thrifted shirt. Ill be sewing or safety pinning these to my other shirt and styling it that way. I love exploring this as a new media!

Ive been into alt fashion for a bit but never felt I truly got the concept. Ive been watching a lot of thrifting vids and I enjoy thrifted finds. I bit the bullet on a pair of Burgundy Sinclair Docs, absolutely LOVE the silhouette of these shoes. I was going to wait until graduation but Ive got 2 more semesters to get the drip.

I figured Id have a few staple pieces and kind of make them my own. I love graphic tees but I sometimes dont always like the tee the print is on. In my finds above, the horror T, the print is all on the back. So what Id like to do is cut out most of the designs on both Ts(the BB T maybe just the icons) and bobby pin to some of my other staples.

I have a few black denim jackets and long/oversized black tshirts that would be perfect for this. I also picked up two pairs of chucks for about 25.00. The black needs a set of laces but I LOVE the red/black combo. 

I figure the black/red chucks with an oversize black T, black leggings , my IT socks and the horror designs appliqued to the basic pieces would make for a fantastic alt outfit. And I can reuse the graphics on other pieces too!

 Ive had a very good summer, despite the sudden loss of my longtime friend Alli, my summer has been relaxing and I was able to do some travelling, meet new people, and complete the Imagine and Daydream series.

  Im also excited to get back to school in a few weeks and finally wrap up this degree. Ive been thinking a lot of what Im going to do after. Do I pursue a Masters? Do I move out of NYS? There are a few opportunities coming my way and for the first time in a long time, I dont have a path forward. Not that this matters, I think for now Im just enjoying the ride. 

Also, Fall! Fall is right around the corner and I usually decorate early. I have plans for my living room already, new shelves to put up and maybe some light up trees. Ive already jumped into some horror, earlier this year I watched Together, SO good. I discovered "The Blackwell Ghost" found footage/mockumentary horror. Pretty decent for one filmmaker coming up with a brand of his own. Chernobyl diaries was another I found, fantastic premise but fell flat imo.

WWE is coming back to Buffalo next week and Im heading down to watch live, and then Breaking Benjamin is coming to Darien next month and I can finally grab a ticket!!!

***A few travel photos** 

 Sometimes the war within requires me to confront my opinion on whether or not I want to make content to share, for the purpose of sharing. Something scheduled. 

I've gotten into watching Amagansett press videos and his sons vids. Is it the worst thing in the world to have a spotlight in the public eye or am I selling out? I haven't decided. It might be fun to be a brand. Maybe not. 

Anyway,  some recent progress on the next book in the imagination and daydream series. I think it's time to start a new chapter . We press on boys .

I'm trying to be more conscious of my decision making. At the heart of it, I'm a post minimalist that loves being an impressionist. So I care about showcasing the process and I love capturing the essence of the thing. I have to actively not produce messier work but something more sophisticated and drawn out. In layman's terms, I need to slow down and take my time and not let the stream of conscious win. This is what I'm trying to do here with the last 3 books on the series. I have more control when I plan which makes for easier final work.

 

A few things that give me some comfort. I've been watching Lana solo life reels, she's a 20 something that has no friends and lives alone. She had bought these wine glasses and puts her diet cokes in them. I never drink soda but tonight I indulged with my breaded chicken . It definitely makes you feel a bit more sophisticated drinking from them lol. I'll stick to sparkling water from now on though. 

Also my two new jellycats arrived for my coffee bar. My mom got me a large coffee cup and I picked up a macaroon and an espresso shot. Really cute 😍 

 

A few shots using some 90s polaroid presets in lightroom. I havent been feeling up to drawing lately. And Im unsure if I ever will again. Im still creative, but because of all the emotional damage done to me the past 3-4 years, I just have no desire to invest in it anymore. The constant lows and highs have been a bit too much and maybe I suffer from Anhedonia, maybe its permanent loss but the mountain is too high to climb now and my resiliancy has faded. Maybe switching over to photography will be good for my soul